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اصلاح مطلوب ہے

Samah — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 11:40:57 +0000

ہر آدمی کا بچہ بڑا ہو کر ایک آدمی بنتا ہے اور پھر فارغ بھی ہوتا ہے تو کچھ نہ کچھ ضرور سوچتا ہے۔ یوں تو مجھے بھی بہت کام کرنے ہوتے ہیں مگر زیادہ کام دیکھ کر کچھ کرنے کو جی نہیں کرتا اور صرف کچھ نہ کچھ سوچتا رہتا ہوں لیکن آج تو کمال ہو گیا کہ جب سوچتے سوچتے اکتا گیا اور قریب تھا کہ سوچنا چھوڑ دوں تو اچانک ایک بالکل نئی انقلابی سوچ دماغ میں پیدا ہوئی کہ کوئی بڑا کام کیا جائے۔ یہ انقلابی سوچیں بھی بیٹھے بٹھائے ہی پیدا ہو جایا کرتی ہیں۔ ۔ ۔ نظر دوڑائی تو نظر دوڑی مگر پیچھا کرنے کی اتنی کوشش نہ کی۔ اندازہ ہوا کہ کہ سب بڑے کام بڑے پہلے ہی کر چکے ہیں۔ ایک نظر ان ڈگریوں پر ڈالی جو نالائقی کے باعث حاصل نہ کر سکا۔ دماغ پر زور ڈالا، وہ بھی اثر انداز نہ ہو سکا۔ آخر سوچ اس نتیجہ پر پہنچی کہ کچھ علمی و اصلاحی کام کیا جائے اور محاوروں کو فقروں میں استعمال کرنے کا گیس پیپر تیار کیاجائے جس سے وہ طالب علم مستفید ہو سکیں جو میری طرح اکثر و بیشتر امتحانات میں بری طرح فیل ہو جاتے ہیں اور اسی باعث ان کی شادی ہونے میں کئی کئی سال کی تاخیر ہو جاتی ہے۔ وہ ہمارا گیس پیپر پڑھ کر پرچے میں کم از کم پہلا صفحہ ہی کالا کر دیں، پہلا صفحہ کالا کرنے کے بھی نمبر ملتے ہیں۔ مجھے ایک دفعہ ایک پرچہ کا منہ کالا کرنے پر سو میں سے سات نمبر ملے تھے۔

خیر یونہی نمبر یاد آ گئے حالانکہ ماضی کا کیا رونا، حال کون سا تابناک ہے کہ مستقبل کی فکر کی جائے؟ ۔ ۔ ۔ علم کا دریا ہے کہ ٹھاٹھیں مارتا ہوا سر کے اوپر سے گزر رہا ہے مگر عقل ہے کہ کام ہی نہیں کر رہی۔ کبھی سوچتا ہوں کہ دو اینٹیں کھڑی رکھ کر ان پر کھڑا ہو جاؤں مگر ڈرتا ہوں کہ پاؤں پھسل گیا تو الٹا خود ہی ڈوب جاؤں گا۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ فقرہ بنانے کا طریقہ و ترکیب سے آپ بخوبی واقف ہونگے ، اس لئے وضاحت کی ضرورت نہیں ہے لیکن اگر آپ واقفیت نہیں رکھتے تو کسی سے پوچھ لیجئے گا اور پتہ نہ چلنے پر بجائے پریشان ہونے کے میری طرح صبر کر لیجئے گا۔ مجھے بھی محاوروں کو فقروں میں استعمال کرنے کا شوق نہیں ہے۔

۔علی راز

When you know you’re going to fail an exam anyway!

Faiza — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 20:45:34 +0000

Things to do.. when you know you’re going to fail an exam anyway..

1- Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2- Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

3- On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

4- Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

5- 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

6- Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, and a towel on your head.

7- Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

8- Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

9- As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

10- Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

11- Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

12- Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.

13- Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

14- During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

15- Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

16- After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

17- Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up!

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Priceless Gifts You Can Give

Faiza — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 21:12:37 +0000

The Gift of Listening

No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your responses. Just listen.

The Gift of Affection

Be generous with appropriate hugs, pats on the back, and hand holding.

The Gift of Laughter

Share articles, positive news, funny stories, and cartoons to tell someone, ‘I love to laugh with you.’

The Gift of a Compliment

A simple and sincere ‘You look great in red,’ ‘You did a super job,’ or ‘That was a wonderful meal’ can make someone’s day.

The Gift of Solitude

Be sensitive to the times when others want nothing more than to be left alone.

The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition

The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, even if it’s just saying hello or thank you.

The Gift of Friendship

Without friends life would hardly be worth living, let your friends know just how much they mean to you today.

The Gift of Your Smile

Smile and the world smiles with you!

The Story of Appreciation

Samah — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 05:25:49 +0000

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way,from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score good grades.

The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?” the youth answered “None.”

The director asked, ” Was it your father who paid for your school fees?”The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.” The director asked, “Where did your mother work?”The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner.”The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, ” Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?”

The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.”

The director said, “I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.”

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly.His tear fell as he did that.It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked: “Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?”

The youth answered, “I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes.”

The Director asked, “Please tell me your feelings.”

The youth said,Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today.Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, “This is what I am looking for to be my manager.”

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop “entitlement mentality” and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

I want to be a child again

Faiza — Wed, 13 May 2009 08:08:51 +0000

I want to be a child again, 6 years old is good.

I want to once again think that candy is better than money, because you can eat candy.

I want to go to McDonalds and still believe it is a 5 star restaurant.

I want to go outside without worrying how my hair looks.

I want to go back to the days when music was clean and pure.

I remember when I was innocent, and I thought that everyone was happy because I was.

I want to distance myself from the complexities of life, and once again become excited over the small things.

I want to ride my bike all the way to the park, without worrying that I will get kidnapped.

I want to live simple again, I don’t want my days to be full of computers crashing, mountains of paperwork on my desk, and how to survive a few more days during the month when there is no money left in my check book.

I want to believe in the power of laughter, of a hug, a handshake, of a kind word, of truth, justice or peace.

I wish that each one of us could live a part of that child we all have inside and do not let ourselves be dragged down by the society which surrounds us.

If we all thought and acted a little like children, don’t you think a lot of things in the world would be different?

Enjoy Life and Be Happy..

—-Author Unknown—-

Kids are smart!

Saeed — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 13:40:17 +0000

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

——————————————–

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

——————————————–

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I just LOVE this kid!)

——————————————–

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

——————————————–

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

——————————————–

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

——————————————–

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I’.
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

——————————————–

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

——————————————–

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

——————————————–

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It’s the same dog.

——————————————–

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

PakFellows Blog » Chit Chat

اصلاح مطلوب ہے

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